Hosanna, Even Now
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I’ve been dealing with some very human emotions these past few weeks. And I’m ashamed to say… those emotions got the better of me.
I became distant. I hid from God - not necessarily physically, but in the ways I stopped acknowledging Him. It just felt too hard.
There was even a moment where I was upset, honestly wrestling with Him while scrubbing my bathroom from ceiling to floor.
On top of that, I missed three weeks of church. I was showing up late to work almost every day.
I’m grateful I still had my support system, but if I’m being honest… I floundered. I failed the test. And it saddens me to think I would drop the ball like that.
But here’s the thing - people never truly know what someone else is going through.
And even in that, I got back up.
I’m slowly returning to my walks and talks with Jesus. I finally went back to church after what felt like forever.
So what has this taught me?
I need to do better going forward.
We have to recognize that when these challenges surface, that’s where character is developed. That’s where growth happens.
I need to praise Him still - even when things look gloomy, uncertain, or when I’ve placed myself in difficult situations.
Father, I pray for forgiveness, clarity, and patience. Thank You for allowing me to be vulnerable enough to even write this today.
On another note - this is Holy Week.
Last weekend was Palm Sunday, the day Jesus was welcomed into Jerusalem. People waved palm branches and laid them on the ground as He rode in on a donkey. They cried out, “Hosanna!” - meaning save us.
They recognized Him as their Savior…
But by the end of that same week, He would be led to Calvary and crucified in one of the most painful ways imaginable.
And here I am - reflecting on a man who came as a sacrificial lamb, who died for me and my sins…
And I hid from Him in my time of need.
We can’t go back to our old, conditioned ways when we are made new in Christ.
We have to overcome the darkness that tries to surround us.
Don’t let the darkness consume your light. Be the light.
If Jesus could endure the unimaginable for us, then surely we can keep Him close in our hearts.
He is near to the brokenhearted. He is there when we feel alone.
I urge you - don’t fall away like I did.
Because even though I wrestled with Him and voiced my frustration, I failed to praise Him.
This Holy Week, I’ve made the decision to draw closer again.
I’ve been praying, reading my Bible, praising, and even singing to Him on my walks.
I’m learning to forgive myself and accept that there will be ups and downs in this journey. But what matters is that I return to Him.
1 John 1:9 reminds us that God is faithful to forgive when we come back to Him.
Just talk to Him. Tell Him where you’ve been. Tell Him you want to reconnect.
Even if you have to start small.
Don’t let guilt stop you.
Because repentance leads to restoration.